Today, as I write this, is July 4, 2019. It’s a day when Vanessa Neimeyer should have been celebrating Independence Day with her family, then preparing for her upcoming trip this weekend to a convention where she would see Tom Felton, her favorite actor who portrayed Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter series of films. Instead, her family is planning her funeral.

Late on July 1st, 2019 as Vanessa was in bed, a teenager eluded the police, which started a car chase that ended with the teen crashing his car into the house where Vanessa lived, right into her bedroom where she was asleep, killing her instantly.

The next morning I woke up and checked my Facebook page where I saw a new picture of Vanessa, the one seen up above and one that she posted about 10 minutes before her death. My first thought was, “Oh! She has occamy hair!” But then I started reading through comments other people had left and realized something was wrong. A quick search later and I realized she had passed away. Anything I had planned for that day was immediately swept from my mind as grief took over.

I never had the chance to meet Vanessa in person, knew her only online, but that doesn’t change the fact that she was a friend. We had planned on meeting two weeks prior, for the grand opening of the new Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorcycle Adventure ride at Universal Studios. We were both there but it was an insanely busy and crowded day, and our paths never crossed. I figured we’d meet up “next time”.

The first time I can recall seeing Vanessa, who I met in one of the several Harry Potter online groups that we are both members of, was when she shared this video made for her by Tom Felton.

Anyone who knew Vanessa knew that Tom was her favorite actor. She literally traveled the world to see him at various conventions and events. The two of them developed a friendship that went beyond simply a fan following someone she likes. I loved seeing the posts she made about Tom. About her most recent meeting with him, her latest tattoo about him, or something she’d made for Tom to autograph. Here are some examples:

As their friendship grew, Tom took to giving her nicknames. He would call her ‘V’ or ‘V Ness’ and sometimes even mentioned her when he spoke during conventions.

Can you see how their friendship has evolved over time? It’s been magical for people like me to watch on the sidelines, to see Vanessa’s latest post about them. She even added his autograph to her tattoo of Draco:

Here’s another example of their friendship. Tom signed Vanessa’s cell phone case with, “Kisses on the bum.” No one but the two of them knows what this means and it perfectly shows how he loved to be silly with her.

One thing that I hope comes through in these pictures is Vanessa’s light and love of life. She embraced life and lived it on her terms. She was amazingly positive. One thing that I heard many times from people remembering her was that Vanessa gave the best hugs, and I’m so very sorry to never have gotten one.

I invited people to share their memories of Vanessa and this is what people shared with me.​ I am grateful to everyone who was willing to let me post what they said publicly. Thank you.

A note to those of you who gave me pictures to use. You might see a picture that you sent me credited shown under someone else’s name. That’s because some of you sent me duplicate pictures so I used them with the person who first sent them to me.

Vanessa was a Gryffindor (with a hint of Slytherin) so that’s why I’m using her house’s colors in this post.​

Kelley is Vanessa’s cousin and has kindly allowed me to share these pictures of Vanessa with her family from over the years.

-Kelley N.

“She was an amazing girl and an even greater friend. We could spend hours talking about Harry Potter and Tom Felton. She glowed whenever she talked about it and even had a building that was her mini Hogwarts. She was such a kind soul and very adventurous and never really met a stranger. She is extremely loved and will be missed greatly.”

-Brittany Hatley

Vanessa with Brandy and Chelsea at Hogwarts in Universal Studios.

– Brandy Brown of Simply Potter

“I had already been in the park for 18 weeks recovering from five grand malls. That weekend turned the whole experience into a celebration. Two moments in particular stand out with Vanessa. The 14th. Jamie, Miles and I were in UOS headed for Kings Cross when we ran into Vanessa, Heather and Chelsea. We decided to get on the Mummy together. We looked at the picture they take and decided to ride again to get another one. Vanessa thought we should make a funny face or something so we tried but didn’t quite get it. She was so much fun, with only two minutes before they closed the line she was all in on running through and doing YMCA in the back row. She was C.

It was such a wonderful experience all running around under the full moon six people all working together for the fun of the challenge.

So synergistic not something I could do on my own or with one friend at a time. So much love laughter and positive energy. Things we need more of not less.

The next day was the day even more of us rode the Hagrid ride together! I took so many pictures of all of us so excited and joyous together. I had ridden it once with a stranger on the motorbike. Riding it with 10 Potter family members was off the charts awesome! Vanessa was a kindred spirit. You can see by the picture we had much in common and already. Finding another soul that throws her arms around the world and loves with her whole heart was such a gift on top of such a perfectly awesome occasion. It felt like this is the way things ought to be. Everyone is your friend and neighbor, love conquers ALL! As high as that emotional full moon was. We all said good bye never thinking for a moment one of us would never see another full moon.

She was body confident, she was affectionate and giving. She was bright and vivacious. She was a beautiful soul and a colorful character. I was looking forward to further adventures with her and the others.

That was just 18 days ago. This all seems unreal.”

-Dawn Karpoff

“I was ever so lucky enough to meet her and spend the weekend with her at the Hagrid opening. I’m devastated at the loss and still trying to process it fully.”

– Andrew Scardino

“Vanessa. I am so at a loss of words at the moment. After lying in grief for 6 hours I realize now I must put my thoughts into words. I miss you. It was just yesterday we were talking about the new costume you were working on. I still can’t even begin to comprehend and understand the fact that I am never going to get to talk about my future tattoos with you. I am never going to get to visit the Wizarding World with you again. I am never going to get to ride HagRide with you. We had so many things planned. Cute outfits, cute Dramione Fanfiction discussions that I didn’t understand but enjoyed having because they were with you. In the short time that we’ve known each other you’ve been on my mind constantly and have become so important to me. And to lose you with no warning was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. You were family.

I will forever cherish two specific memories with you. One being our first lunch together and talking about “you know who” (no one else needs to know) and secondly saying goodbye to you as my last member of my potter family in the lobby of the Sapphire Falls resort. Having just been through the worst and most extreme panic attack of my life, you were there to hold me, comfort me, fill my ears with the words of the many adventures we had to come. I now know that you will not be able to join me in those adventures in person but i am absolutely sure you will be there in my heart, experiencing the magic through my eyes, and through the love that bonds every member of our community with each other. Thank you for everything you taught me in the too-short time that was our friendship. I will carry you with me wherever I go. I love you Vanessa Neimeyer. Always.”

– Aidan Jasanis @AidanJMUA

“I knew Vanessa through the Potter fandom, as so many others did. She was kind, sarcastic, funny, and wholeheartedly cared. She was the type who didn’t need to be directly in front of a camera but wanted to be involved and help lift others up around her. She dreamed of being a Harry Potter influencer. Her love for Tom Felton was shiny and bright and I loved how she was never afraid to express her passions! We had just spent our vacation together in Orlando 3 weeks ago. We all had such a magical time making new potter friends and enjoying the new Harry Potter ride and festivities. On my final day in Orlando, Aidan (my brother from another mother) and I spent time with her in the hotel lobby just talking about all our crazy experiences. Aiden had a rough last day but she was right there to give endless advice and much needed hugs to us both. We said our goodbyes knowing that we would see each other in a couple months at LeakyCon Boston.

We had just been texting a couple nights ago. She was building a thestral cosplay for her trip to Montreal and found a pic of me online in my thestral cosplay I had made and said she loved it. I told her all about Misticon, another Potter convention. She was so excited for the trip this weekend to go see Tom Felton and the Phelps Twins. I’m not claiming she was a best friend but that’s how it is in the Potter community. When you spend time bonding over potter and have an abundance of mutual potter friends, you just know that the two of you are connected in a special way. We both felt that. It was so easy to talk and connect.”

– Katie A.

I fear that my words didn’t do Vanessa justice so I hope that these pictures and memories from people who loved her did. Vanessa was a shining light for so many people and the world has gotten a bit dimmer without her in it.

Vanessa, we will all miss hearing about your next great adventure or cosplay costume. I think it’s safe to say that you were loved more than you ever could have known.